I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
