i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
