Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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