You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
