It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
