I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
