Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
