Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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