Plan B is the new Plan A
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
