you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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