friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
