yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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