dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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