haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize