I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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