those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize