Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize