well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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