I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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