She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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