it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
