You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
