You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I smell stomach acid.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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