everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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