Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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