she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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