dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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