Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She's the barista slut.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
