You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
