Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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