We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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