Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
