Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
