WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
