I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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