i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
