Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
