I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My vagina is officially offended.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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