hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
