dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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