i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
