i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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