you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
