We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
