I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
