Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize