Got a toothbrush?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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