I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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