how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
