Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize