So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Fuck appropriateness.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
