I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
