You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
