she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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