I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
