He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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